Here’s the thing

So here’s the thing about sex,
It does not exist in a silo.
Growing up I was always told, “don’t have sex”
With the implied “outside of marriage” on the end
But sex is everywhere
It sells us everything from burgers to bracelets
Thus sending the message that it is both incredibly taboo and the most coveted thing in society.

Looking back from age 27,
I simply wish I had been told, “don’t be quick to fall in love” or “don’t give your heart away so easily” just as much as or even more than being told “don’t have sex”
I wish more time was spent on discussing and developing emotional intelligence in the pre-teenage, teenage and twenty-something years of our lives
We are getting mixed messages, having sex without even being about to understand how it is really effecting us psychologically, and losing parts of ourselves in the process.

I need these conversations
I need us to be having these conversations
Not just about sex
But also about how I’ve loved and lost and it still effects me
How the deeply rooted desire I have for someone I’ve never had sex with overtakes me more than the fact that I’ve had 7 different men inside me.

They don’t warn you about this.
They don’t protect you for this.
They don’t prepare you for this.
They don’t know how to talk to you about this.
Even now.
To validate
To help you process
Get over
Simply listen…

–Shelleyrenae