Shit, this is raw
Life is not playing
It’s no longer about meandering through the days
Be more intentional?
Have the right words?
I ain’t got an answer…
I’m mentally and emotionally overstimulated
But wondering if I need to lean into the discomfort and unknown
I wouldn’t say it’s stress or depression
It’s more like a lot of emotions I can’t name
Which makes me feel vulnerable and powerless
Which is hard and uncomfortable for me
Knowing I’m powerless
And that’s ok….?
Craving the next word,
Hanging on to every text,
Desiring your affections,
This is my addiction.
And I hate who I am when I am addicted
I had made up my mind,
You were not going to get inside,
Not in my head,
Not in my soul,
Not in my body,
Then I gave you an inch, innocently
And that’s how it always starts,
Kindly, I smiled and played along,
I loved the feeling of being seen and heard,
It was 6:22 and one-hundred forty-nine hours later I’m ensnared,
Your hook caught up in me deeper than I had planned,
Thought I was in control, but I
I was lying to myself,
Did I play along…
Only to get played?
I’ve met my match in you,