Reciprocity

It’s a tricky thing
The way of being
Mutually exchanging
But all this investing
Means next to nothing
Without receiving
The reciprocating

I’ve given of myself
Only to find
I’m alone
You don’t actually
Show up fully
Choose in
No walls, no defenses

This surely can’t be
For this isn’t new to me
So why be so freely
Sharing all of me?

So I won’t
I shouldn’t
I knew I couldn’t
Too good to be truly
Reciprocity.

-SR

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Glass Houses

We’re living in glass houses
You in yours
Me in mine
We see each other
But we don’t actually see each other
The you I know is only the one in my head
All these years, how can I still know you
So much has changed
Everyday we’re changing
That’s almost 3,000 days of changing between the time I last saw you and today

And I can’t seem to let go
Or move on
Stay waiting
Wondering
Hoping

And I live and love
In my glass house
Because in my glass house…

-SR

I Love You

Love is patient
Love is kind

It’s so easy to say
Much harder to embody
In a world of loving everything
What does it really mean

I love music
I love glitter
I love candles
I love you

You don’t equate to music and glitter and candles
I just don’t have another way to say I don’t know where I’d be without you.

Love is patient
Love is kind

No matter what, you’re there for me
And I’m there for you
Despite miles and hours and time zones
I feel your heart wrap around me when I’m lost
You’re there in the still silence while I wrestle inwardly
“I know” reaches across the distance
A salve on my wounds
Validating my struggle

You’re my love
And I’m yours

The calm in my storm
The “everything is going to be alright”
We can say everything or nothing
I love to hear all your mundane details
And I know I can share mine
I also know you know what I thinking and feeling even when I say nothing at all

Love is patient
Love is kind

You strengthen my spirit, my resolve, my entire being
Just by being in my life
I say “I love you”
Because what I really feel is ineffable

Who you are
What we have
How I feel about you
Is too great for words

You are more than my other half
You are me and I am you
In a way that compliments all the strengths
And fills in the areas of weakness.

I
Love
You

-SR

I got this one wish
I got this one dream
I have this one hope
For everything.

Can you see it?
Do you feel it?
Can you even understand it?
Does the demand of it overwhelm you?
Keep you from it?

You can’t be half in,
You can’t only commit part way,
You must give it all up,
For it to be anything.

Half ass is nothing
When life or death is on the line
Be all in or walk away
Because on the fence,
It’s wasting time.

Like sand through an hour glass
The minutes tick by
Passing faster and faster
There is no rewind.

So choose
And choose now.
If you don’t choose
You just might never know how
The life that you saved
Might actually take a bow

We try and we try
And we think we are saving
But are not the ones
The ones who are braving
Courage is not with a Savior Complex
It’s giving up everything we’re craving

To try is nothing
To let go is everything
Wishes and dreams and hopes need hands to fill and overflow
But our hands must be empty of all we take hold of

So choose in
Choose in now
To let life in, let life be full
For it can only be as you allow.

-SR

Qu

Less than two months
You turned my world upside down
Less than two months
You went from I miss you
To nothing at all
Less than two months
Is all it took
This time

And this time
There will be no next time

The more you pull away
The sooner I’ll walk away
To the point when I’ll be gone
-SR

You teach people how to treat you

I’ve been told
that you teach people how to treat you
well I guess
I’ve taught you
to take what parts of me that you like
and discard the rest
I am not too much
I am perfect just the way I am
beautifully flawed
and perfectly imperfect

I’ve been told
that you teach people how to treat you
well I guess
you’ve taught me
to mistrust you
to hold you at a distance
and to not be fully myself with you
you’re not a bad person
Just not right for me

-SR